Loving Kindness
A Practice and a way of being
Each February I make love theme in my classes and thereby my life. I do it as a small act of rebellion against the commercialization of love that turns it into a commodity instead of what it is – a state of consciousness. In case it’s not obvious, I am not a romantic. I am, however, learning to live with a heart that is open to all that this life has to offer me – the good, the bad, the amazing, and the truly awful.
The practice that I share as a way to cultivate an open heart and to invite us all into love as a way of being is the loving kindness practice, or metta. It is a simple and powerful practice that requires devotion rather than obligation. It is a humbling practice that requires as much patience and self-compassion as one can muster. When it’s easy, it’s easy and when it’s hard, it’s hard. The purpose is not to overcome or master anything. The purpose is to continuously create the conditions so that the heart can open to allow love to flow in and out.
The loving kindness practice is one of offering devotional, heartfelt words of well-being in an ever-widening circle, beginning with oneself and extending out to include loved ones, acquaintances, one’s community, enemies, and eventually all beings. We do this practice to unhook from our self-centered fixations that only create more suffering and to open the heart so that we know our inherent wholeness and connection to all beings, According to Sharon Salzberg in her book Loving Kindness, The Revolutionary Art of Happiness, “When we feel love, the mind is expansive and open enough to include the entirety of life in full awareness, both its pleasures and its pains. We feel neither betrayed by pain nor overcome by it, and thus we can contact that which is undamaged within us regardless of the situation.” p. 10. Who doesn’t want that?!
The phrases repeated in the practice often very – there is not a right way to practice. The only wrong way to practice is to treat it as an item on the to-do list. That just doesn’t cut it. Each heart needs to find its own way and own words. I practice by offering wishes for happiness, health, safety, ease, and peace in that ever-widening circle.
May I, you, all beings be happy
May I, you, all beings be healthy
May I, you, all beings be safe
May I, you, all beings be at ease
May I, you, all beings find peace
Just writing these words softens my heart. It surprises me that, given how transformed I feel at the end of the month, I so readily move on to other themes. Perhaps it’s the sense of fatigue from hearing and resisting the subtle voice of self-doubt that lurks in the shadows whispering to me “but, what if you’re wrong? What if you really aren’t worthy?” Perhaps, I just need time to metabolize what I have been teaching and practicing. Perhaps, it’s something else that I have not noticed yet. I’ll keep listening.
It is still February and the power of the metta practice is still humming through my system. I’m not ready to move on. I need to know more - about what it means to be happy, healthy, safe, at ease, and peaceful, and about my relationship to life as a reflection of love. It’s a lot, but I feel up to the task and love a good adventure that leads me into my heart.
Let’s embark….
