WHAT Matters? (Part I)
What Matters? Part I
Often when I write I have a limited idea what point I am trying to make. There’s the whisper of a idea and I hope to write my way towards some sort of clarity. Other times I start with an assertion and explore backwards – testing if the assertion is really true. One way is not better than other; both are an uncovering of the unknown and in many ways, the inquiry is the practice.
When I start with an assertion I might inquire is this true? Sometimes I want things to be true but when I examine them closely, I find they might not be as true as I thought. This type of inquiry can keep me asking questions that allow what is true either to stay true or to be confirmed as true. Either way, the inquiry is the practice.
An example might be the declaration made in my last post – that mindful is what I am. Am I? Is this really true or is it just something that I want to be true? To answer this question, I must turn to mindfulness and observe my inner and outer workings with objective and compassionate interest – repeatedly. I must also keep asking the question because as long as I am paying attention on purpose with curiosity and kindness, then I am being mindful.
Other times I start with the inquiry and work my way towards clarity, towards a point. Here I start in uncertainty and write my way towards something – generally clarity or understanding. Sometimes, and I consider these times to be the best, I find myself following a path of inquiry where clarity and understanding uncover more of the unknown and more inquiry.
Like the signs in the malls that tell you where you are in the maze of stores – I am here, writing my way towards something.
I have been doggedly and passionately on a path of mindfulness. I’m not certain where it is going and much of my practice has been one of embracing the unknown. I’ve been known to say that mindfulness is a journey, not a destination and I am committed to walking this talk, but what is my point? What am I seeking? Why am I on this path? These are questions seem pressing to me, although I am not sure why. They require me to go in and go deep; to contemplate, observe, listen, and most of all to stay open. I think there is value in answering these inquiries but the answers must be held lightly so that they don’t become obstacles, so that they do not close me off from more inquiry.
In my contemplation of these questions I uncovered (with the help of my friend and teacher Jenna Milner) a much deeper and seemingly more important inquiry – what matters to me? This is more than just identifying what’s important to me – after all, this will change. It is also more than my morals and values – these are born of what matters.
So, what matters? What keeps my living this human life? What ‘message’ do I want to send the universe through this life? As I write these questions, I see my mind coming up with several answers. Many of them very noble and heartfelt, but I don’t know if they are true or just mental memes that I want to be true.
This is a question that can only be answered with contemplation and inquiry. Finding clarity is a process of peeling away layers of belief, desire, and resistance. This may take a minute.
As I embark on this journey of contemplation about what matters I invite you to consider your own. What matters to you?
